Here at Rust Belt Girl, I consider it my solemn duty to report the top news of the Rust Belt, generally, and my native Northeast Ohio, specifically.

The fact that news outlets such as the New York Times and NPR have already covered this event compels me to make this special report.

Of course, I’m talking about the zombie raccoons of Youngstown, Ohio.

Yep. The zombie apocalypse officially starts in Y-Town, birthplace of the Good Humor ice cream bar and Ed O’Neill from Married… with Children and Modern Family fame.

But I digress. Seriously, the raccoons of Youngstown are losing it, acting all “zombie-like.” As told by city resident and raccoon witness Robert Coggeshall to local news outlet WKBN-TV several days ago:

“He [a raccoon] would stand up on his hind legs, which I’ve never seen a raccoon do before, and he would show his teeth and then he would fall over backward and go into almost a comatose condition. He’d come out of it, walk around and then he’d do the same thing again. Get on his hind feet and show his teeth.”

Such strange behavior in daylight led authorities to investigate these “rogue” raccoons (that’s Smithsonian’s adjective of choice, not mine) and conclude that distemper–and not rabies–is likely to blame.

So stay safe out there in nature. (Humans can’t get distemper but dogs can.) Better yet, stay in and curl up with a good book this weekend.

On my literary plate: revising, polishing, and readying my behemoth WIP for the publishing road ahead; proofing a friend’s novel manuscript; submitting a flash fiction piece to journals; and writing a review of Mike Winegardner’s novel Crooked River Burning for a post right here early next week, when we return to regular raccoon-free programming.

What’s on your plate this weekend?